


may you rest in peace, you little shit

by ifnotfornatasha



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Fluff and Humor, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Tried, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 03:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15655131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifnotfornatasha/pseuds/ifnotfornatasha
Summary: Bucky's supposed to be cleaning his room. He is not, in fact, cleaning his room.Instead, he's finding out a long hidden secret of the Stark family. No one's happy about it. Except Bucky. He thinks it's pretty damn funny.





	may you rest in peace, you little shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BuckyKingOfMemes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyKingOfMemes/gifts).



Bucky was supposed to be sorting out his room. The one that he hadn't really moved into, despite the fact that he had been living with the rest of the Avengers for months. The one that had boxes of things what were supposedly "his" despite the fact that he didn't know what any of it was. He was fairly sure that it was just crap that Steve didn't want anymore.

So instead, he found himself in the archives room (found himself, because he didn't know where anything was so he got lost. Tony's AI tried speaking to him but he told it to shut up except then he felt bad and wished he hadn't because he had only been trying to get to the kitchen and the AI had only been trying to help and he was surrounded by dust instead of sugary cereal.)

He was sifting through a box full of folders labeled with various different years. This particular folder was labeled May, 1970. There were pages and pages of papers and letters that he didn't want to bore himself to death with, so he settled with looking at the pictures.

Vaguely, he imagined Tony making fun of him for acting like a child "reading" a book too far above their reading level. He banished this Tony from his mind and, in spite of Imaginary Annoying Tony (who wasn't much different than Actual Annoying Tony), looked at more of his baby pictures than he would have before. He knew the baby had to be Tony, judging by the familiar face of Howard. Tiny Tony was dressed in increasingly embarrassing outfits; far more frills than the man ever dared to wear today. Alternatively, there were also photos naked, crying Tony or naked, happy Tony. Bucky skipped over those ones.

He found a photo of Maria Stark holding a newly born Tony in her arms. A smile tugged at his lips. He held it out, more in the light so he could see it better.

Imaginary Annoying Tony told him that this was kind of creepy. Bucky somewhat agreed with him.

In the light, he noticed handwriting on the other side of the photo. He flipped it around.

What the hell?

What the _fuck_.

Bucky burst into a fit of cackles. Tony was absolutely going to die.

\--

Tony absolutely wanted to die. "You're fucking with me."

"I'm not fucking with you, that's Howard's handwriting." Bucky insisted.

"How do you know his handwriting? Maybe it's Steve that's fucking with us."

"It's Howard's because he puts so many loops in that it's practically unreadable."

Silence.

Tony groaned. "Fuck me, you're right."

Steve walked in, shaking his head. "That is so many dollars for the swear jar."

"You literally said 'fuck' every second word in the forties."

"Fuck off, Bucky."

"This is why America is corrupt." Tony put in.

"Fuck you too, Tony." Steve retorted. Bucky carefully leaned against one of Tony's (possibly Peter's) work tables, wary of the tools and things it had stacked on top of it. "Language, Stevie."

Steve sighed dramatically in the general direction of Tony. "Did you tell him about it too?"

Bucky answered first with a drawl, "I'm just saying, that's not a nice thing to say to your kid."

Steve squinted his eyes. "Is this an internet thing that I'm not aware of?"

"I mean, I am half the female population's daddy." Tony said, helpful as always.

"And men, be honest with yourself, Tony." Bucky replied.

"I thought all those male thirst tweets just came from you and Steve."

"Only a portion of them, Stark."

"Sorry, but this still doesn't explain the kid thing. I don't have Twitter." Steve said.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Bucky tossed the photo to him. "You're Tony's god-daddy."  
Steve turned it over and had a mixture of Bucky and Tony's reactions. First, he laughed. Stared at the both of them and realized neither of them had a shit-eating grin on (though, Tony had turned a suspicious shade of red.) Laughed a bit more. Stared at the photo. Looked bewildered. Stared back up at the two other men. "You're fucking with me."  
Tony motioned to himself. "That's what I said!"

Steve read aloud, "To Steve Rogers, Captain America. An inspiration to our time, and hopefully to Anthony's." Oh, if only he knew. "Although your sacrifice cost you your life, I hope I can give you one last gift in blessing you with being my son's honorary godfather. Thank you for your services. Your war is over. Howard Stark."

Steve still looked bewildered and somewhat disturbed. Tony was laughing it off with his usual humor, but it looked like he wanted to strangle someone. Bucky was just cackling. "Stevie, you're _Tony Stark's fucking godfather._ "

-

-

-

_(Bucky never ended up cleaning his room.)_

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in an hour and didn't really beta it so if it sucks then uhhhh, fuck it whatever it's cool.  
> Plot credit goes to @buckykingofmemes on tumblr, but they also have an ao3. They're hilarious and great. Please follow them lmao.


End file.
